It's been a month full of seeing beauty. Resting in it. Just allowing myself to be in the midst of it without producing. A month of no blog posts, photo captions, or getting any sort of identity from the amount of likes or thumbs up on my photos. The word free only begins to describe what November was for me. Naps in the middle of the day with my kids. Pressing snooze. Watching as many sunsets as I could bundle my kids for. 2 of the best books on tape. Even a lazy November Sunday picnic on the beach after church--- we stayed until the sun went down. Yes, you heard me right- a picnic on the beaches of Lake Superior in November- it was rare + heavenly.
I felt my eyes move their focus slowly but surely- from what the world thinks of me, to what my Father does. As I watched every sunset, I would read Romans 12 out loud .... "Fix your attention on God + He will change you from the inside out." Its what I needed. Its what I will forever need. A heart alignment. An adjustment. A changing of compass. Back to North. Back to my savior.
I'm excited to begin "producing" again. Writing. Telling stories. Be it in words or photos. But my worth isn't in the production. Its in being loved. And loving.
This month at church they introduced a new song for worship, and the words became a banner over my heart + over my life.
"Your a good good Father. Its who you are. + I'm loved by you. Its who I am."
Maybe an odd way to kick off a place where I create + produce for a living. But if it doesn't start here- it comes up short of authentic, counterfeit to who I am + what I was made for.
Oh November, you were life giving + oh so beautiful. Thank you Jesus.